These are the paired heirs, their positions, and their numbers:
- Madame Sun Lin Hoo, cook Jake Wexler, standing or sitting when not laying down
- Turtle Wexler, witch Flora Baumbach, dressmaker
- Christos Theodorakis, birdwatcher D. Denton Deere, intern, St. Joseph's Hospital, Department of Plastic Surgery
- Alexander McSouthers, Doorman J. J. Ford, judge, Appellate Division of the State Supreme Court
- Grace Windsor Wexler, heiress James Shin Hoo, restauranteur
- Berthe Erica Crow, Good Salvation Soup Kitchen Otis Amber, deliverer
- Theo Theodorakis, brother Doug Hoo, first in all-state high school mile run
- Sydelle Pulaski, secretary to the president Angela Wexler, none
