These are the paired heirs, their positions, and their numbers:
- Madame Sun Lin Hoo, cook - Jake Wexler, standing or sitting when not laying down
- Turtle Wexler, witch- Flora Baumbach, Dressmaker
- Christos Theodorakis, birdwatcher- D. Denton Deere, intern, St. Joseph's Hospital, Department of Plastic Surgery
- Alexander McSouthers, Doorman- J. J. Ford, judge, Appellate Division of the State Supreme Court
- Grace Windsor Wexler, heiress- James Shin Hoo, restauranteur
- Berthe Erica Crow, Good Salvation Soup Kitchen- Otis Amber, deliverer
- Theo Theodorakis, brother- Doug Hoo, first in all-state high school mile run
- Sydelle Pulaski, secretary to the president- Angela Wexler, none
